Always and Forever
by mehacdesai
Summary: As he saw her walking down the aisle, he felt his heart would skip a beat, if it would be beating at all.


~ Always and Forever ~

As he saw her walking down the aisle, he felt his heart would skip a beat, _if it would be beating at all._ He has never seen her as beautiful as she looked today. It was breathtaking. She was looking classy and elegant with her dark red and black silk wedding gown perfectly fitted around her body at the right places. It was gothic. He was so stunned, and least surprised when she chose her wedding gown in those dark colors. They were not humans and maybe it was Vampires marriage code, he amused himself with that silly thought. Slowly, she came closer with Jeremy by her side. She looked at him, in his eyes, and he knew, nothing could ever make him weak, _absolutely nothing_. She looked happy but there was something in her eyes which he could not comprehend, generally, he was excellent at reading her but today, he was in awe. He was greatly indulged in her beauty that he almost forgot the hint of sadness in her eyes; it was like a part of her was struggling with something. He knew he had un-sired her. He broke the sire bond months ago, the cure thing was mere failure but he needed to stay away from her and he did the right thing by letting her go. He left her, though it almost broke both of them, but he just had to. He was being, as usual, him, ever the selfless, and ready for making his baby brother blissful. All his little brother had to do was to ask him and he just did it.

And today, after months, three months, to be precise, he was here. He left the town immediately after breaking the bond, but he was shocked to the spine when his little brother called before few days and gave him the awful news that they were getting married. He was taken aback and more than that, depressing. Was his love that much weak? She did not even remember? Right. Of course she did not. He cursed himself for his idiocy. He made her forget. He remembered the night when he went to his own room where she was standing against the window, waiting for him. They kissed. She said she loved him, he said the same. And then…it happened. He asked her to let him go, to forget that he even existed with a very cool and serene voice. But inside, his thread of very being were wrecked one by one. She cried. She denied. She fought. She hit him but he did it. He gave her one last kiss on her forehead, and asked her to move on, to take care of her, and be happy. And he left, leaving behind a puzzled, heartbreaking and fuming girl with whom he was in love with. After that night, he never came back, he just came for wedding this morning, of course, for his little brother though he scolded him like a million times for taking this hasty decision but all he got was blame that he was just being jealous. So, he decided to keep mum and enjoy the free alcohol at the wedding. Sure, that was a lie. He was being selfish again, he wanted to see her. He wanted to see her for one last time and just disappear from entire US. He was tempted to look into those brown eyes and most importantly, he wanted to know if there is something for him in those eyes, even though he knew that sire bond was completely broken. She would be happy, it would be her best day.

And this is how he was there. This was the last day he would be seeing her. Not that anyone knew about it, but he knew. He had to leave. Abruptly, everything was so blur to him, and he was back in the past, when for one sole night, he loved her and she loved her, with everything they had. For one night, there was nothing between them except love and he could swear he lived century in that one precise night. He was loved, she said she loved him and he was stunned, shocked and surprised. They made love that night. And for him, it was like first time ever in his entire existence. He never felt so much passion, love and comfort in just one glance of her. For the first time, he felt like his entire vampire life was worth of something. It was beautiful what they shared, it was worth it. One night of being loved without the burden of some stupid bond or something, there was just pure love and wanting. One night, compared to an entire existence of loneliness, it was worth it. He would leave.

As he heard baby brother calling out his name, he came out from the beautiful memories he had in his mind. And he gave his brother a ring, which was supposed to be his token of love, but as he was he, destiny had to play its cruel part with him. He gave the ring to his brother with pretty fake smile. He had to be honest, he was happy for his brother and his to be wife, but he was not at all happy for himself and the entire stupid idea about this sudden marriage. Was his little brother that much insecure that he would bind her in some legal bond? He would go insane if he would think about this stupid idea so he just stopped thinking and looked at them. He just had to stay for this last part and he would leave, he mentally scolded himself, 'Leave!' He could never watch his girl getting married to someone else other than him; he did not want to see that. It was not his alternative. He had to leave. He patted his brother's arm, smiling for him, genuine this time. His brother smiled back, he whispered something in his ear and left gracefully, without anyone's knowledge. Of course, who would be watching him? He was the bad one. Everyone was so happy, so freaking happy for Stefan and Elena. So was he, at least, he was _trying to be._

He felt so relieved when he came out from the backyard of his own house where the ceremony was being held, he was alone here now, in his room. He sighed. The memories would not just leave him alone. Everything in his room was just a cruel reminder, how he loved her, how _she loved him._ He had to leave, he mentally screamed again. He filled a glass of bourbon, and gulped down the entire drink in one sip and grimaced. He sat on the edge of the bed, doing nothing, just drinking absent mindedly. For a while, it was dead silence in the room, no one could even predict someone was in the room. He wanted to go somewhere else, where he could breathe without even a thought of her. But he knew there was no such place, he just have to drink himself to misery. He decided to go the grill as it was his place. He missed Ric but no one cared, so he just left.

Once he was in the grill, he compelled the bartender to hand him a full bottle. He would not stop tonight. He started drinking and brought out the ring from his own pocket, it was simple, old diamond ring which his mother passed onto him, he was supposed to give it to her but that never happened. So, he put it down on the table and started playing with it.

'Why I am not surprised?' A cold voice emerged from behind. He did not turn around but smirked, he would recognize this voice from his grave.

'Just what I wanted!' he sighed. He still did not turn around; he just sat and waited for her. His so called Ex.

'Be nice, Damon. We are sailing in the same boat, tonight' Katherine said as she took a seat beside him.

'What are you talking about? And why are you even here?' He snapped.

'Come on Damon…It's hard for you but I do care for you little.'

'Liar, Liar, Pants on fire…What do you want, Katherine?'

'Misery loves company. I know you love her Damon. And I love him. It's our sad day.'

'Okay now. Enough of the drama! Shut up. And yes, even if I am miserable, I don't want your company' And he put the ring back in his pocket, and was ready to get up but she stopped him.

'Look Damon, I know I have no right but please…I just don't want to be alone tonight, just tonight. Please. I know I don't show it off, but I do have a heart, and sometimes it hurts. Too much.' she said with broken voice. Grief was all over her face, and her eyes were wet. She was genuinely sad and hanging on to Damon for support. He threw off her from his arms, and sat. She looked at him, speechless. She was almost ready to leave as she believed that she could not convince Damon anymore that she needed him. And she knew he needed her too but he was way more stubborn to accept that. She turned herself and ready to leave when he said out aloud,

'You are one hell of a bitch. You can stay. But just remember one thing, I hate you.'

She smiled a little. They both thought at the same time that this was going to be long but interesting night.

After a couple of drinks out of compulsion, they both started talking.

'Who invited you?' he asked.

'No one. I just came by. I have contacts, Damon. I needed to see it actually happen.'

'So…Did you see it?'

'Huh…You think? It disgusts me. I left even before her entry at the aisle.' She said gulping down entire glass in one go.

He smirked.

'We are supposed to badass. We should not feel anything.'

'You bet. Even Vampirism does not work with that creepy feeling. Hate it…' she slurred.

There was dancing number in the background and out of sudden, she got up and started moving her hips, dancing with the bottle in the hand. Few workers tried to stop her but he compelled almost everyone there and he joined her. They started dancing. And it felt good, dancing the pain away. He danced like never before, careless and painful. Each move to forget her, just forget the whole thing and absorbed into alcohol and external world. They were on roll, drunk beyond imagination and hurt beyond repair. None of them said anything, they just danced, and one by one, on each song, people came and went. No one seemed to care; instead some of them joined them. For every other it seemed like fun, for them it was one hell of a way to escape the reality. It was a tragedy for him that even after three bottles of alcohol, dancing and Katherine, he was back in the memory from the frat party, where he and Elena danced. It felt so right, so content, and so very happy. And now, it was exact opposite. He kept dancing with Katherine, and miserably failing in the effort to forget her doppelganger. They danced until the late hours of night, when everything was so quiet, and there were less people, it was just them with no music. Even music stopped but they did not stop dancing. She was in arms then, he was caressing her back, without any feeling.

'I really love him, Damon…' she said with a single tear dropping down her cheek. She looked at him with watery eyes.

He smirked.

'Damn you! I spent a century and a half searching for you, loving you and you are just…crying for him. You never cry. Should I be worried?' He smiled which was totally fake.

'I am really sorry, Damon.' She stated. This was the most sincere he ever saw Katherine, with his human and vampire existence.

'Up until now, it didn't occur to me how much I have hurt you, but today, I know I am sorry and it comes from here.' She said as she placed her hand on her heart. And with a most sincere voice she continued, 'I, now, know how it feels to chase someone for years and years and not have them. I realized it. I am really very sorry Damon…I loved him but I did care for you. I loved you too but my love for Stefan was way too much more. I really love him, even now'

'What a pathetic choice you have! Have you seen his hair?' he smiled and hugged her back smilingly. She smiled back a little.

'Oh…Damon, we are so screwed up! Love sucks!' She said pulling herself out from his embrace.

'Hmmm…Love sucks. Sire bond sucks…Everything just…' he was stopped as he heard one sweet voice from the back.

'Damon? Katherine?' Elena asked in confusion.

He was shocked, again. What the hell was she doing there? He looked at her. She was a mess. She was still in her perfect wedding dress, her hair was a little out of place, her mascara was all over her face, she looked tired and her eyes seemed red and puffy. It looked like she was crying and god forgive him but he loved her, he loved messy hairs, ruined mascara, it just made her look even more beautiful and to be honest, it made her look sexy as hell. He stopped his chain of thoughts immediately as she saw him with her big brown eyes, in a wonder. All he did not understand was why. He was drunk before moment but at the sight of messy Elena, he forgot everything, he was sober, all his alcohol was gone from the veins. She moved ahead, as he stepped back a little. She smiled. After so long he saw her smiling, it was a genuine, relieved, happy and content smile. But in the immediate next second, her expression was covered with anger, an extreme rage. And she moved ahead with anger mixed with jealousy. He stepped back a little more and looked at her with utter shock. He literally had no idea why she was there, he had so many questions and so had Katherine. She looked at her with surprise, but remained quiet and stood in the corner.

'How dare you?' She said with clenched teeth.

'What? Elena…Why you are here and what are you talking about? Please…share with the class!' He tried to hide his shock in his trademark playful smirk, but he failed. As if Katherine got the clue, she disappeared in just one swift movement.

'Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon with my still-brooding brother?' He asked, pain clearly hidden in his deep velvet voice.

'You. You don't get to speak. You, Damon Salvatore will shut the hell up now and I will talk. No…I will take action against you.' And she came even closer, she was still beautiful, messy but what a sexy mess she was.

'Elena…'

'I said stop.' And she started hitting him hard, with her small playful fists against his rock solid chest. She just kept hitting him, without even looking at him. There were fresh tears in her eyes, but she refused to look at him, she just kept hitting him hard. And then as she was Vampire with a lot of new gained strength, she smashed him in the wall, and climbed on top of him, though it was a little uncomfortable. Damon handled himself and got up but she kept hitting him, and finally she slapped him, one by one, without noticing what she was doing. Damon stopped protesting after he saw the tears and pained expression on her face, he knew it and he remained silent and looked at her peacefully. When she calmed down a little, he took her hands in his hand with a firm grip, made her look at him,

'You done?'

And she broke. She rested her head on his chest, and he encircled his arms around her. They stood there for a few minutes in silence, just feeling each other. Damon had so many questions but his only firm answer was that wedding didn't happen. He did not know how and why.

'Why did you do this to me?' she asked in a low voice, a voice so low only he could hear.

'Elena…I…'

'No. I fought for you, for us. But you did let me go; you made me forgot that you were for me. How could you do this? How can you give up after all those years? I repeatedly told you that my feelings were real, even after you let me go from Lake House; I knew it was real for me. Why couldn't you believe me Damon? Why? I loved you. I freaking loved you and what did you do? You left me, because you cared for that damned stupid bond more than you care for me. You wanted to do the right thing and all you have done is, wrong. Letting me go was wrong. Loving me and making me compel was wrong. Making me forget who you are was wrong. Leaving from here and not even look at me was wrong. All this time, I constantly felt like a part of me was missing and not even cared to explain or justify yourself was wrong. Coming to wedding without a protest was wrong. Looking at me like you loved me more than anything and walking away was wrong. Giving me up, giving you up, giving ourselves up was wrong. Everything you did after the night after Lake House was wrong. And you say, you did the right thing? Well…Define the word right for me, Damon. What is right? To Love, to be loved or to love and to leave the one you love? Please. Tell me, which part of word right feels really right to you? Tell me…And don't even start with the insecurity issues. I loved you. I told you I was ready to fight for you and I know I was wrong before, I loved Stefan but that depressed, damsel in distress Elena died that night. I never loved him like I love you. So don't start with that…'

'Elena…'

'…No. I am not done yet. Do you know something? When Stefan left and became Ripper, I never felt empty. I never felt insecure and definitely I didn't feel like I was dead. You know why? Because I had you, you were there to make me smile, even when I was terribly sad. You were there for me, and I never felt unsafe. And when you were gone, I felt like a part of me was gone. I was living dead, though, technically, we all are living dead, but I was talking metaphorically. I felt numb and the worst part was that I didn't even know why I felt like that why I was numb, why it feels that something was missing. I did not know anything; I kept thinking and thinking for weeks that what was wrong with me. What was I missing? I didn't even know why I felt like that. Damon, do you even realize that the person whom you love is not with you and you don't even remember. I spent weeks crying myself to bed, about nothing, just the creepy feeling that something was missing. I missed you and I didn't even know that. I wanted you and you were not there. I was abandoned. Does that make any sense to your thick skull…you stupid Damon so called Salvatore?'

It was when Damon realized the actual pain she felt while he was gone. He felt the same but still at the sight of Elena so sad and broken shook him. He was flabbergasted and literally mad at himself for leaving Elena like that. He was furious and angry for what he did. His heart broke into two watching Elena crying in anger and pain. He held her firmly, and all he could say was,

'Oh…Elena, I am really sorry. I just…'

'No. You don't do that to people you love, Damon. I know you had stronger reasons not to believe my feelings but what you did was wrong. If it would not have been for Caroline, I would never know the truth…'

'…Caroline?'

'Yes. Your vampire Barbie. A night before the wedding she came to me all of a sudden and asked me if I was happy and I just could not hide it. I didn't know how Stefan got me into this wedding talk, all I felt was empty and I gave up finally, I said yes for wedding because I had nothing to give and I had nothing to lose, I remember my old time with Stefan and I knew at least it was safe. He assured me that I would feel better with the time. He made me believe that with time I would feel for him again and we would be fine. And what was I supposed to do? I didn't even know what exactly was happening to me. I begged everyone to tell me but no one told me anything. Caroline and Bonnie came to me, they were worried for me, may be because after all they realized I was not being honest with anyone, I was not happy. Caroline told me everything what exactly happened. I was furious, Damon. And I saw you at the wedding. Everything came back, you and me, everything we have been through, the kiss at the motel, and the dance and just everything.'

All he knew by then was that the night was one hell of a night; he never got this amount of shocks in series. He never thought two of Elena's best friends who hated him to the core, would actually help Elena remembering him.

'She hates me…'

'…Yeah, she does. But even after that she could see what we have, it took time but she admitted to me that you are my reason for living. And you gave up, Damon. Was it because you were tired or was it because Stefan is more important to you than me? Or was it just because you wanted to leave it up to our fate? Huh?'

Her questions and arguments were so right and proper that for the first time he was lost for words, all he knew that he had hurt this beautiful woman and he needed to apologize.

'I can be badass and idiot sometime…But I do love you.'

'And I am so called good girl but I left from my own wedding just for you…you idiot man.'

'Elena…I am so sorry but I wanted this to be real and I knew your past records of 'its-always-gonna-be-Stefan' so it was really hard for me to trust what you were saying. I really thought you would never love me. It was all because of that bond which now I think is broken completely because you are not happy and you are here. And yes, a part of it was for Stefan too. I promised him. He is still my brother and I was not the good guy, remember? I made oh-so big crime of falling in love with my brother's girl and I screwed up, always. I thought at the end of day, it would always be Stefan whom you would choose. I was expecting better for you, Elena. I really thought this would make you happy. All I wanted for you was to happy eternity. I was never being loved, so I kind of freaked out, I was scared that you would become human again and run back to him, so I thought it was better if I build walls around me even before anything increases between us. I honestly did not wanted another heartbreak. It would kill me, Elena. I…'

'…Stop!'

And Elena pressed her lips to his with all she had. It was pure love, admiration, respect, warmth and content. She felt the same; she made him feel safe and loved with just one simple kiss. And she pulled back a little, still cupping his face; she looked at him lovingly, and continued,

'You Damon Salvatore, is the man I choose. I choose you. I love you. And I want to live my eternal life with you. I want you there when I wake up every day and I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want you to stay with you wherever you go. And even if you want to leave me, I won't let you. I will fight. I will make you fight. I will never run and never make you run. I want you. All I feel for you is real and intense and nothing can change that, ever, always and forever.'

His expression changed from initial surprise to a cute smile and then literal awe to admiration, and then love. He loved her but never in those few years, had he thought he could love more. But he was once again in love, all over again, with his woman. He was so proud, so happy and so much in love.

'Where do you want to go?' he asked as he held her in the bride style.

'Anywhere but Mystic Falls.'

'Wait. Let me be clear about something before we leave' He said in a serious tone. Elena frowned. And he gently put her down and presented the ring to her. She was surprised.

'I am not going to go down on my knees and ask you to marry me because one legal or holy ceremony can't bind us. I want to be with you with or without that ceremony. We have forever. And we love each other. This is the only thing I have from my mother whom I loved so much, maybe more than you if it's even possible. So, I just want to promise you that I will love you forever and I will never ever leave you again, no matter what.'

And he slipped the ring into her finger and kissed her. She smiled and just nodded. She did not want to say anything, she was just happy being with him. She kissed him back with the same passion and she knew she was home. Engagement, Marriage and all those ritual did not matter for them, they loved each other beyond those measures and they fought hard to be with each other, they had forever and they wanted to stay with each other. It was all that matters, and nothing else. He smiled to himself when he remembered his own words about the night. Oh, he was so right; the night was going to be so interesting.


End file.
